Lots of Catch Up!!!

I can't believe it has been over a month since I have written.  Time just get past me sometimes, and I forget about the little things in my life, like my blog.  I do have a lot of catching up to do though!!!  In my last blog I mentioned that I felt "out of place".  Yes, this is still the case, but at least I have finally made a final decision in my life!!!  I visited Billings on May 8th for an entire week.  I rented a car for the week, packed my stuff, and Annie and I drove by ourselves all the way there.  I am not gonna lie, on the way there I was a little nervous.  I didn't know what to expect, and I certainly didn't know what I was going to feel when I drove into that little town.  As soon as I got off the freeway I had tears in my eyes.  I miss it so much.  I felt at home.  I finally felt that peace inside that I have been looking for.  I have been praying a lot about it, and asking God to give me some sort of affirmation of what I am supposed to do.  As soon as I pulled off the freeway, I knew my answer.  That week was absolutely incredible.  I had so much fun with my friends, and reconnected with people that I haven't spoken to for a long time.  It was amazing.  Everyone kept saying when they saw me "WOW!!  Amelia, you look great!!!  You are a completely different person!"  It was so nice for people to notice the change in me after not seeing me for 5 months.  I think coming home is just what I needed.  I needed to come home to get my head on straight, heal a little bit, and then go back.  Even when I left Billings I knew one day I would be back, and this time it would be on my terms. I would live in MY OWN PLACE with MY OWN STUFF!!!!!  It is going to be a great feeling the day I move back.  One of the best things that makes this so great is that my family is all on board.  They are all so great and supportive.  My mom told me last night... "Amelia, I want you to go there, find an amazing cowboy who loves his mother and treats you like a queen.....and that will give you all the sex you want!!!!"  Haha....she knew I struggled with that in my last relationship.  I love my mom, and how supportive she is.  I have come so far the last month, and I can say that I think my sad days are over.  I have realized lately how much better I deserve than what I was getting.  WOW.  Whenever I get a glimpse of sadness I just have to remember the things that Jason put me thru the last year.  I can't even believe I put up with it for one day.  Makes me ill, and I am a beautiful woman who deserves more.  I definitely know what I will and will not put up with in my next relationship.  They say you live and learn, and I definitely have!!!  Jason is a good guy in his own little way, but completely changed the last year we were together to the point I didn't even know him anymore.  He was a stranger, and I didn't like that person.  It's too bad that most the time when a relationship ends, its the crappy stuff that you remember.  Anyway, so I came home, got another job working the NOC shift at Sunrise Assisted Living, and I am working my ASS OFF so that I can move on October 13th.  I have two friends coming out to help me move, and my dad may come back with me again and fish with a friend for a few days.  Things are definitely looking up for me.  I have been working with a credit transformation company too and they are helping me repair my credit.  I will be debt free by the time I move, with a brand new car.  I am so excited!!!!  Anyway, so that is a little bit of catch up.  Hope this post finds you all healthy and well....

Love,
Amelia and Annie