Change....

Hey all,

Just a warning...this is kind of a depressing post.  I don't know what happened today, but it all hit me.  I don't know if its because I started packing my things...or what, but I have been in tears all day.  Last year at this time, Jason and I were moving into our new apartment, and now I am moving out all by myself.  It is so crazy to me, and something that I am having hard time comprehending, that I may never see Jason's face again.  It is so weird, and something I hate even thinking about.  This will be my first holidays in 5 years without him.....and I am not gonna lie, this is not easy.  Some days I feel on top of the world, and others I cry my eyes out and don't know if I am going to make it.  I miss him.  There, I said it.  I miss him.  I have been trying to be so strong and not "feel" a lot of things, but in the back of my mind I feel like I still hurt so much.  Only sometimes do I let myself feel what I need to though.  Gotta stay strong...

Anyway, so the last week has been great.  I only have a week left with my hospice patients and it makes me so sad.  I am just so sad to leave everyone here.  This is definitely going to be a hard move.  Last week I went and saw one of my favorite nurses Barb.  She lives in Laurel right where my last patient lives, so I stopped by afterwards.  She and I had a blast!  We sat and chatted for a couple hours.  What a special woman, I am going to miss her.  Later that day the Licensed Massage Therapist that works at Rocky Mountain came up to me and gave me her information for a reference.  She told me that a wonderful CNA I am and that she is honored to give me her reference.  WOW!!!  It brought me to tears.  So many people are reaching out to me and I feel like one lucky girl.....Annie and I both :)

Love,

Amelia